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How to be nice and a better person

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So hello everyone, today I am teaching you how to be nice in general! so let's get started!!! YAY

First of all, if you want to be nice, look in the mirror and say "I am nice" and then you are ready to start these steps of being nice and a better person!

Step 1 : If someone tells you something sad, laugh at them and say "Must suck to be you!"

Step 2 : If they run away crying, run with them. It gives great comfort.

Step 3: If the person dislikes you, you are going the right way!

Step 4: Now you need to apologise to them and say you didn't mean it, even if you could care less! this is very important!

Step 5: After they forgive you, you say to them "Let's go into a dark alley way to talk."

Step 6: Bring a Long hard stick into the alley way with you!

Step 7: When you meet them there, beat their ass with it.

Step 8: Bring them into your attic and leave them there forever. Remember to compliment them daily so you are nice!

That's all the steps! if you have completed them tell me how it went! (;